There’s no doubt in the fact that humans are complicated, and even more complex are humans in a relationship. For a lot of people, after the initial phase of infatuation passes, the tides get progressively more difficult to tread through. But like most things, being in a successful relationship is a skill too, and can be learned and improved over time.
And this is exactly what we’re going to do in this article: look at some wonderful audiobooks on relationships that hold the power to change your perspectives and maybe teach you something new. Whether you’ve been with one partner all your life or in multiple relationships or never been in one, you’ll find something for you here.
1. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert by John M. Gottman
Having written over 200 articles and 40 books on marriage and relationships, John Gottman is an expert psychologist with years of experience on topics around marriages (and relationships in general). Bringing his years of research and principles to this book, he provides a guide to how marriages should function. His simplistic and straightforward attitude towards the whole matter makes it a lot easier to understand and grasp.
He notes how fighting is natural in marriages, and keeping things bottled up is as bad as bawling your throat out. He brings academic precision to what is usually considered a subject outside academic boundaries. With the different metrics that can analyze a couple, along with his fairly accurate system that can predict the future of a relationship, he clears a lot of haze surrounding relationships making it concise and accessible.
Through different steps that ensure both the partners get to know each other better, admire and respect the other one, and communicate freely and randomly, he brings the two people together. He also advises getting influenced by the other partner, solving all those problems that are immediately solvable, coming to a compromise on the fundamental differences, and lastly, creating a shared culture that helps you connect intimately.
With multiple exercises and activities, he goes about improving your relationship. Whether you wish to make your romantic relationships better, or even the way you interact with people in general, this book can be a great help. Gottman helps you reconnect with your partner by focusing on little things that often go unnoticed and, through that, form a strong core that ensures both of you appreciate and value each other.
2. Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love by Amir Levine, M.D., and Rachel Heller, M.A.
As the title indicates, the book brings science to relationships. In our daily lives, we employ scientific methodologies in everything, from sleeping to eating patterns to exercising. Then why not employ it in relationships? Through this book, Amir and Rachel try to explain how and why some ace the game of relationships, while many often fall and struggle.
Using attachment theory, promoted by John Bowlby back in the mid-20th century, and the most advanced science on relationships as of now, they go about exploring and explaining how adult attachment works. It divides behavior in relationships into three categories: anxious, avoidant, and secure people. The first category is always worried about their relationship and if their partner is still attached to them.
The second tends to avoid intimacy and associates relationships with losing their independence, whereas the last category is something to strive for, who feel comfortable in relationships and are warm towards their partners. Using this classification model, the book helps you narrow down the causes of your struggles and consequently helps in improving your situation.
Presenting the different concepts in a simplified and practical manner, the book handles the subject so that the listener can easily understand and apply it in their lives. It helps one look for the right kind of partner for themselves and improve those aspects of themselves that result in failed relationships.
3. The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work by Eli J. Finkel
Backed by some comprehensive research and analysis, The All-or-Nothing Marriage takes a look at how human relationships and society have shaped over the years. It goes all the way back to the early 17th century and looks at how marriage has functioned since then, till now. It shows how the meaning and purpose of marriages have changed over decades and centuries.
While the primary purpose of marriages between the 17th and 18th centuries used to be residence, food, and shelter from violence, it changed to love and companionship in the next two centuries, i.e. the 18th and 19th. Now, marriages are mostly about discovering yourself, self-respect, and your personal journey. And while the institution of marriage is faltering with the declining quality of an average marriage, Finkel shows how, in fact, the best marriages of this age are better than the best marriages of any era in the past.
Using the best marriages as her standard, she provides practical advice on how to make any marriage better. Some strategies can be acted upon immediately as well as strategies designed for the long term so that the partners fulfill each other and their partnership can prosper.
4. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman
Falling in love is as easy and as natural as anything, but staying so? Not that easy. From the daily demands of life to the eventual conflicts that are bound to arise in any relationship to the dreary regularity of daily life, it’s easier said than done. With this book, however, you’ll be able to grow a healthier and more intimate relationship with your partner.
Have you heard of the five love languages? The book goes into explaining what they are and how they can be used to improve your relationship. A classic guide to relationships, it’s no wonder the book has been a bestseller since its release: a short book with a simple premise and immensely practical ideas that have helped its readers and listeners over the years.
It helps you understand how different people express and accept love in different ways, which, in turn, helps you to be more understanding and flexible in your relationship(s). From physical touches to gifts to verbal affirmations to spending some quality time, every person has different ways to express love and different ways in which they want to receive it. A lot of issues in relationships arise because of differences in love languages, and this book helps in sorting and explaining it out.
5. Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Sue Johnson
The originator of the EFT method, which has been immensely successful in improving relationships of all kinds, Sue brings all her wisdom and advice into this delightfully simple book. EFT, which stands for Emotionally Focused Therapy, has high success rates in marriage counseling and is an essential read especially for those with relationship problems.
During her research, she realized that the larger part of romantic relationships is shaped by emotions and desires that are unconscious in nature, and therefore, all other factors take a backseat relative to these larger emotional issues. To find the solution to it, she went back to emotions and got her breakthrough. The book looks into the different emotional patterns observed when we’re experiencing pain or problems and how those patterns can be healed through conversations.
The seven conversations in the book, from recognizing patterns to talking about the difficult moments, help the partners appreciate each other better and form a healthier relationship. With plenty of case studies, anecdotes, and practical and fun exercises, Sue shows how to improve a relationship and live a lifetime of love.
6. Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication by Oren Jay Sofer and Joseph Goldstein
Using proven mindfulness methods, the authors try to teach healthy and calm forms of communication that help form a stable and mature relationship. Sofer’s method brings together mindfulness with NVC (or nonviolent communication) modality, which is based on the idea that humans resort to violence only when they don’t know any other effective strategies.
It asserts that everyone has a capacity for compassion and love and, through the peaceful strategies that the method provides, every form of communication can be peaceful and easier than before. His method of communication is made up of three components, namely presence, intention, and attention.
The first part brings more awareness to every conversation, the second is about setting a goal for interaction and clarifying its objective, whereas the third is about paying attention and understanding what your partner is saying. With lessons and exercises, the book teaches these steps to improve your conversations, and consequently your relationships, with everyone around you, be it your friends or partners.
Article made possible by Nishil. Nishil is a passionate writer, hungry for new innovation. New trends fill him with tons of enthusiasm to uncover hidden topics. Speakaudible covers a wide range of subjects related to audiobooks. Check out our latest published article on best erotic & romantic audiobooks.